Tiger Woods and golf, what do they have in common? Hands up, those of you who do not know who Tiger Woods is. To be honest, I myself do not have a clear picture of him and only know more about him due to this recent scandal and affair which was publicly announced, on the news, in blogs, online and newspapers. Like golf, Tiger Woods relationship with his spouse boils down to communication, interpersonal communication to be exact. A golfer has to communicate with his caddie and establish a stable interpersonal communication relationship with each other.
The relationship can be viewed as an exchange.Just like how a couple enter a relationship and puts in their feelings and expects to get back the same feelings and love, a golfer and caddie enters a relationship where the golfer puts in his time and effort and expects the caddie to aid him in the games and to win the tournament much like a personal assistant of a boss helping to take down notes and appointments. The caddies puts in his time and skills and expects a share of the golfer's winnings and possibly fame if the golfer becomes a top player and wins in every major league. This relationship can be viewed as a form of transaction whereby both parties put in something and expects something back in return.
I am sure most of you would have heard about Tiger Woods and his wife and how she was going to leave and divorce after news of his alleged affair leaked and word got around. However, the recent news about the couple was that Elin Woods is calling off the divorce and is returning back to him. Using Knapp's Model of Relationship Development, we can study and understand the stages of their relationship. Before news of the scandal broke, the couple was at Stage 5 which is the Bonding stage. What happens at this stage is that significant public rituals are performed by the couple such as marriage and being committed to each other. This is also the peak of the Coming together phase which results in marriage. After news of the scandal broke and got around, the couple entered the Coming apart phase and was at Stage 9, or rather the Avoiding stage. Elin avoided Tiger at this point and withdrew herself physically and emotionally from the relationship while reeling in from shock from the news of the scandal. The model is not linear however and a couple may skip any steps and even go back a step or two instead of moving forward in a linear fashion. Take Tiger and Elin Woods for example, they are now at Stage 7 and Stage 8 which are the Circumscribing and Stagnation stages where they avoiding talking about very personal and sensitive issues and choosing to stick to safer topics and areas. For Stagnation, they are just going through the motions of a relationship and behave just like any other couples except that there may not be a deep emotional bond between both parties and either one or both of them are holding on to avoid the pain and heartbreak they would experience should they terminate the relationship.
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ReplyDeleteWe have to analyze other causes of his affair. Who are we to say what Tiger did was wrong or right, it's his life anyway. The next idea is whether his wife is a contributing factor to Tiger's unfaithful affairs? ;)
ReplyDelete"men will stray. women should be realistic and deal with it, rather than hope for the impossible. do not expect every man to be loyal. maybe one out of a thousand will be." - felix ong, former CEO of seksun corp.
ReplyDeleteas a woman, it both irks and boggles me to know that men are unable to tolerate it when their wives/girlfriends stray, but yet when temptation rolls around, they simply throw caution to the wind.
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we may not be in a position to judge tiger woods' actions of infidelity, and perhaps we'll never know if elin nordegren was truly a contributing factor to his numerous affairs, but what we do know, is that tiger woods had a carefully-cultivated persona. apart from being a golfing champion, his image was that of a family man's: clean-cut and infinitely admirable. he seemed to have everything going for him - a great career, a beautiful wife, and two lovely children.
when news of his affairs broke, all of that changed. his squeaky-clean image had been a sham, and the public felt deceived, even enraged. did the man truly think he could get away with it because of his celebrity? in the first place, the adoring public/media were the ones responsible for thrusting him into sporting superstardom. perhaps because of that, they brought him back down to earth as easily. it may be woods' life, but being such a high-profile celebrity, it is only normal that his private life would come under intense scrutiny.
i shan't deny that the entertainment industry is indeed a complicated place, and that it is true he would've faced plenty of temptations in his line of work as a top-notch sportsman, but it was also his responsibility not to hurt his family.
his fall from grace seemed to have stemmed from pure stupidity, or an innate psychological problem. as a shrewd businessman (judging from the way he cultivated his public image and handled his career as a golfer), he would've known the sort of backlash he'd suffer, should his affairs come to light.
It is the character problem of those men who stray. When people become richer and more powerful, they tend to want more things. Because of the nature of humans, men tend to stray more than women. But then again, due to society having more powerful men than women, the news usually oncerns people who have power and wealth. We don't see some unknown guy reported to be straying in the media right?
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if Knapp's model does apply to celebrity marriages. The world of celebrity marriages is a rather complexed one. Have you heard of rumors of how Tiger Woods paid off his wife to forgive him? With money playing a part, this act can help to jump the steps and or even reserve steps that you can never think of. Maybe now they are avoiding each other but Tiger Woods decides to pay to be forgiven and the wife forgives him.
ReplyDeleteWe can't exactly say this only applies for the celebrities. If you can do it, will you?
Yea I personally view interpersonal relationship as the most important kind of communication in my life. I can freely express myself and make myself known to my loved ones. Having efficient interpersonal communication is as important as carrying out the values in you as a person. Both need to work out to have the best communication. This scenario, it's just a celebrity spoiling our day. He is in limelight so his story just seemed to magnify like a 100 times more than the rest of the "baddies" out there.
ReplyDeleteMaintenance is important in a relationship but it's also the most critical and most difficult part in a relationship. Especially when there's a miscommunication and the problem is not fixed.Trust will be destroyed.
ReplyDeleteMore problems will pile up along with the old ones and the result may be a break up.
One of the many break up reasons which I know is :we can't communicate with each other at all
we are all humans and one of our main goals is to reproduce lah. of course people will find many partners like in the animal kindowm.
ReplyDeleteThat's what happen to rich guys where they are alone in the countries with lots of temptations thrown towards them. Not only Tiger Woods had fallen, but David Lettermann, Bill Clinton and even local celebrity Jack Neo are into this 'Aplha Male' behaviour. Once men become rich and famous, they will start to do things that made them feel great like gammbling, drinking, drug abusing and in this case multiple sex partners.
ReplyDeleteI think each has their own reasons. Everyone wants to have more than what they have. We have to tame ourselves to accept what we already have.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Woods wasn't happy with the family? Maybe there are underlining problems that the public don't know?
If you guys have caught up recent news, you will have known about the Tiger Woods press statement. He promised that he would'nt do it again and is sorry towards his family, friend and fans. He also said to go to his Buddhist religion and follow the Way and that he is willingly to quit golf to sustain the family.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was brave of him to step up and apologized and the world will be watching his actions from now onwards.
I heard something about it being in the genes for cheating married males over the radio recently and wondered how true is that. Even if it, it still the couple's responsibility to maintain the relationship and if one side breaks down, the overall relationship will as well. Think of it as a bridge (the relationship) resting on 2 pillars (the husband and wife) and if one side gives way, the bridge will collapse as well.
ReplyDeleteNot so long ago, I think everyone will remembers Edison Chen and his defamed partners. That was quite a stir too and Edison had since quit acting and stayed overseas. People tend to make mistakes first then regret about it.
ReplyDeleteI guess when you are rich and famous, there will be people who wants to be with you or associated with you for that fame as well. Whatever the case is, I feel that Tiger Woods has the responsibility to be responsible to this wife and not cheat on her. Having said that, I believe that the wife may want to consider forgiving him as well, you know the divorce proceedings and ailmony does make it seem like she wants a slice of the pie as well.
ReplyDeleteNearer to home, we have soemthing similar. Yes, Jack Neo. I believe his relationship went through the same stages as the ones you described but with a different ending - his wife forgave him so makes him back to Stage 5?
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