Unit 3

Tiger Woods and golf, what do they have in common? Hands up, those of you who do not know who Tiger Woods is. To be honest, I myself do not have a clear picture of him and only know more about him due to this recent scandal and affair which was publicly announced, on the news, in blogs, online and newspapers. Like golf, Tiger Woods relationship with his spouse boils down to communication, interpersonal communication to be exact. A golfer has to communicate with his caddie and establish a stable interpersonal communication relationship with each other.

The relationship can be viewed as an exchange.Just like how a couple enter a relationship and puts in their feelings and expects to get back the same feelings and love, a golfer and caddie enters a relationship where the golfer puts in his time and effort and expects the caddie to aid him in the games and to win the tournament much like a personal assistant of a boss helping to take down notes and appointments. The caddies puts in his time and skills and expects a share of the golfer's winnings and possibly fame if the golfer becomes a top player and wins in every major league. This relationship can be viewed as a form of transaction whereby both parties put in something and expects something back in return.

I am sure most of you would have heard about Tiger Woods and his wife and how she was going to leave and divorce after news of his alleged affair leaked and word got around. However, the recent news about the couple was that Elin Woods is calling off the divorce and is returning back to him. Using Knapp's Model of Relationship Development, we can study and understand the stages of their relationship. Before news of the scandal broke, the couple was at Stage 5 which is the Bonding stage. What happens at this stage is that significant public rituals are performed by the couple such as marriage and being committed to each other. This is also the peak of the Coming together phase which results in marriage. After news of the scandal broke and got around, the couple entered the Coming apart phase and was at Stage 9, or rather the Avoiding stage. Elin avoided Tiger at this point and withdrew herself physically and emotionally from the relationship while reeling in from shock from the news of the scandal. The model is not linear however and a couple may skip any steps and even go back a step or two instead of moving forward in a linear fashion. Take Tiger and Elin Woods for example, they are now at Stage 7 and Stage 8 which are the Circumscribing and Stagnation stages where they avoiding talking about very personal and sensitive issues and choosing to stick to safer topics and areas. For Stagnation, they are just going through the motions of a relationship and behave just like any other couples except that there may not be a deep emotional bond between both parties and either one or both of them are holding on to avoid the pain and heartbreak they would experience should they terminate the relationship.

Perception: Is it really that simple?

My friend showed me this music video and my initial reaction was that of shock(fast forward to 1:11 if you do not wish to see the introduction). How could that do that to a child? He's like only a few years old? He's only a toddler for god sake! How could they expose him to all that horror! Imagine being used an actor for a music and exposed to all that scary stuffs, what kind of childhood would you have? You would be traumatised and live in certain fear the fear and phobia stays with you as you grow up too.

You cannot really train a baby to be an actor. How do you teach him what to do and when to do what? Babies are very simple minded and innocent and they just express them freely for they are not exposed to a lot of things yet so their kinesics and expressions are very simple and truthful in most cases. Just look at the video and see how the baby cries when he sees those monsters and when put down on the ground and allowed to roam on his by his mother, he walks away from them while crying at the same time. Even oculesics come into play here, the baby eyes are all red from all that crying and there is this expression of fear in his eyes. When the policeman(monster in the policeman attire) is carrying him to return him to his mother, he is crying as well and he is clearly not comfortable at the close proximity that he is to the policeman(proxemics is being observed here). Are you, like me, filled with anger and disgust now after watching the video? That the producers could subject a poor and innocent baby to such horrors for the sake of a music video? If you are, then please watch the next video(skip to 2:24 and 5:52), you are about to be proven wrong.



Now, what are your thoughts on watching the second video? It does not seem like what it is anymore does it? Just look at the baby, whom we know now as baby Zachary, plays with the fingers of the monster and is very fascinated by it. He even looks happy as he plays with the fingers as well. For the part where he cried in the cot, it seems that he is trained to cry at the prompting of his mother and is really harmless for she immediately comforts him after the filming for the part is done. As for the part at 5:52, he can even play with and laughs at the policeman who carried him and returned him to his mother. It is a stark contrast to the music video where he cried while being carried by the same said policeman.

Sometimes, what we perceive something to be may not be the truth in reality. Things may not be that simple and if we do not make an effort to get the whole picture, we will be looking at only one side of it and will look at it or treat it fairly. We will then be biased towards it and think badly of it. Take a court for example, if the judge and jury do not listen to both sides of the stories, wouldn't that be unfair for the accused? He or she may then be sentenced unjustly which is not a good thing. What are your sentiments on this? Are you guilty of omitting vital info when you are presented with a new fact and choose to only look at it from one perspective or do you make an effort to get the whole picture before passing judgement?

Abusing a useful tool

I refer to the above report(click on the post title). In my previous post, I wrote about how Social Media is a the new upcoming form of media that people will turn to and how it revolutionised our lives and will continue to do for years to come. It is a very useful tool and helps to make people lives easier.

However, there are some people out there who choose to abuse it by using it for vices. The report is about a teen gang who recruits members using a blog. They post details about their gang which they call a 'brotherhood' on the blog and even provide contact details. Now, that is scary for the people that they are targeting are between the ages of 13-15 year olds and teens in this age range are very impressionable and most of them use social networking sites in one way or another and some of them will come across the blog.

I feel that a blog is used for expressing one thoughts, like an online diary but there are people out there who choose to abuse it by using it for vice or illicit purposes such as gambling, selling illegal goods such as drugs, weapons and counterfeit goods. There are even blogs offering social escort services. It is a very convenient way of advertising their services or merchandises but the people whom they are targeting may not just be the group that are mature enough to understand what is going on. Can you imagine kids stumbling upon gambling websites or blogs or even the teen gang recruitment one? How would the kid react? And what would he or she grow up thinking? That it's ok to engage in such vices because they are easily available?

That is scary for the internet is not regulated as strictly as traditional media and it is very hard to filter what is good or bad and as a result, many people are exposed to such dangerous sites daily.

 PS. This is not a unit's post, just another additional post.